For I haven’t been doing my artwork.

Excuses this time? Its near the end of the semester! And I’m shooting for all A’s, baby. Which means that school gets the most priority, and I’m not going for art.

Escapism: Fucking BO2, Axis and Allies for Mac, and a splash of Breaking Bad, Neverwinter Nights, and Minecraft for Mac. When I get sick of studying, I like to disappear in another world for a little bit, and even more so on the weekends where I can get most of it out of my system so I can focus on school during the week. Unfortunately, that cuts into drawing time.

Plus no more drinking benders seeing as how my skull has recently taken to crippling migraines and blistering headaches everyday. I wonder if things like that can be inherited from ex’s. Or they cursed me. And I can’t drink due to the pain and alcohol is practically required to pray to my heathen gods, so…. EGAD that’s an effective curse!

I’ve also been seeing friends that I have neglected to be with these past years and do things that I haven’t done in forever (Exploring the Pine Barrens in my friend’s Jeep in the dead of night complete with thick, vision-robbing, zombie fog), and slowly trying to break out of my introverted habits of late.

So there are the usual cop outs for not having anything new or for finishing that fucking Borderlands 2 project. Jesus Christ.

I will say, I am a bit happy with all the traffic the site has been getting during this slow period and I feel I have to make a few major points of my goals on here.

First and foremost, this is a fun creative project for me.
I am not here to become a famous web artist or to strike it rich from the site. If either of that somehow happens, it will be used to further my tools (computer, programs, tablets, hosting, etc) to be used for the site, and that’s it. Quite frankly, my comics and art is mediocre at best. Yes, the jokes could actually make sense and the art looking superb and figures to scale, but that is a level of work and skill that I do not have time to polish upon.

I get ideas, I slap em down. The better of the population actually get drawn out in digital format. I mean, I actually have tons of pencil comics lying around, but either the art is gawdaful or the jokes are so terrible that no amount of pot or drugs will make them funny (although that did not stop them from being written in the first place) so they will most likely never be published. Perhaps I will touch them up and scan them in. That seems like a nice easy lazy way to post past work I hate xD

Why am I doing this?
Long ago there was a dream. I liked art and wanted to do webcomics.
It all started with terrible Sonic sprite comics that thankfully were never published and lost in old computers that died due to too much horrific porn and sneaky viruses.
Then, years later, was an idea for an actual web site and to strike it out big using great art and witty jokes.
Years even later, it kinda happened.
After that, a type of realization settled in: it was never going to be an actual career for me.

Listen, I enjoy art. Since I was a stumpy chubby toddler, I loved to draw and it was heavily encouraged. I had some form of natural talent. But throughout the years I came to some realizations about myself and my art.
– Whereas I liked to draw, I do not put in the amount of time drawing and studying art as I did when I was young.
– If I continued to rely on my current level of ability without furthering it, my art was never going to progress (that is why my drawings of feet and hands are still HORRENDOUS).
– When I went for school for art, I realized that what I wanted to do was not going to net me a fruitful career, the most likely scenario was years of struggling to be recognized, and when that failed I would most likely take a desk job to drag through life. I ignored this little idea for a while for obvious reasons.
– I did not take art that seriously.
– The field of web art and especially comics was full and I was currently out of ideas and subjects I could base my work upon for my it to stand alone in a sea of imitators (gaming, nerd, and “inside friends’ jokes” comics have been done to death. I arrived too late on the Pun Era to be effective).
– I was basically jumping on the bandwagon of web comics and famous web artists, to imitate them and try to steal some of their success. The other option was to be completely original with the exact likelihood of being completely ignored unless someone Stumbles upon a rare beautiful work of mine and in the EXTREME off chance that the Internet would gobble it up and repost it a bajillion times as some ripped off 4-chan meme (I credit them for really having the whole current meme and demotivational poster craze that we have today. I’m sure it goes further back than that, but its nice to know your horrible racist roots). I eventually opted for the latter.

SO. I’m basically doing this site because of some automated response that resides deep in my psyche that demands me to periodically draw. So, I must obey these commands, and this is the bin that collects those urges. Trying to force it out will result in an even greater decline of all around quality.
It would be incredibly arrogant, presumptuous, and assholey of me to expect to make a living off of second hand urges or to even fathom the notion of it competing against the heavy hitters of today’s digital art world.

But it makes me smile, and gives a small, fuzzy, stomach tossing feeling that I can kind of associate with love every time I look at this site, and to know that anybody (even if its a small number of people) can find even the briefest moments of amusement or even the slightest cracks of a smile out of what I do is what means the most to me.

So now I will stop stalling to study, and actually study.